A Word from Jane

I sit in my library, cat at the window sill absorbed in the antics of four blue jays in the tree in the front yard.  From her observation post on the low sill that puts her eyes only inches above the tops of the shrubs outside, her feline instincts take over and she notices and responds to even the slightest move or sound made by the birds.  They go about their winter morning unaware and unconcerned about the keen eyes of the stalker at the window.  They are busy with the efforts and joys of their day, happy about the unseasonably warm February weather, calling to each other and flitting about from tree to tree and then to the ground and then back up again.  Raucous and loud, their voices lift above the dangers and fears of their world to express from the heart what only a blue jay can.  Judged as they may be by those around them—favorable and unfavorable—it is only in them to be who they are—blue jays.  And so they go about their lives, however long or short, being what is in them to be, and seeming to be content with that.

As the scene continues to unfold before me, I see that the cat, too, is fully involved in being who she is.  Pacing across the wide window sill for a better view of her feathered subjects, she turns to retrace her steps, then jumping silently to the tabletop beside the window for a higher perspective.  She is obviously, almost enviably, comfortable in her own skin and in her own life’s ways.  Silent in her stealth while voicing her excitement through rapid staccato syllables of twitterpated joy, she gives her whole heart to being herself.

Suddenly, I realize that in watching this natural act play out in front of me, I am seeing into the story that is before me to write.  Unlike the birds and cat, we humans have many things within us that set us apart from all others.  But the greatest of these, I believe, is the fact that we are created in the image of God and we possess something called choice.  As a human being, we have the ability and the right to choose, to a large degree, what our life will look like.  While many aspects of our being may be determined by our genetic makeup, what we do with our lives and how we live our lives is more determined by the decisions and choices we make along the way.

Life might, perhaps, be simpler for the blue jays and the cat.  They do what is in them to do.  The jays probably didn’t agonize over whether or not to fly out of the woods to play in my trees.  They didn’t take a poll to find out how all the other birds felt about it, nor did they stress over the fact that there might be cats lurking at every window and bush waiting to pounce on them.  Some natural process just took place within them, waking them before first light and leading them through their day, returning them to rest again as evening shadows fall.  They screech their songs to each other with no thought as to whether or not they sound good enough.  They fly effortlessly on unseen currents of air with no thought of are my feathers all in place? or what if I can’t make it to the next tree? or I’m so afraid I’ll do it all wrong I think I’ll just stay here.  No, they fly and screech and dart about seemingly with no care at all like that.  (You never see a blue jay dragging his baggage down the street behind him!) No! They fly! Let the cat watch from the window.  Let the rain fall, the wind blow, the hawk circle as he wills.  Nothing stops the jay from being a jay.  Live or die, he goes about living his life according to the natural compass God placed within him.

How very different for us human beings.  Born in the image of our Father God, holding an innate and cutting knowledge of good and evil, and in possession of perhaps the most powerful gift of all—choice—we walk a very different path.  Even so, the human can sit in a library on a Sunday afternoon watching a cat and some birds and gain insights into her own nature in the process.  Yet another amazing thing about us humans!

These days I find myself immersed in Dorothy’s life, learning her history, observing her presence as she is now, looking with her toward her future and into her heart as she wraps her arms around herself in love to give the greatest gift she has.  It is no small thing to be eighty-four years old…period.  It is an even greater thing to be at that point in your life and have the courage to look into your own heart to see what is really there.  And it is even more outstanding to admit that you don’t like everything you see there and decide to do something about it! That is the heart and soul of this book.  It is about honesty, integrity, courage, strength…and above all else, it is about love, for without it, we are only a clanging cymbal.

So, sometimes I am like the cat in the window, observing and noting every little detail that Dorothy gives out.  I jump from vantage point to vantage point watching her, stalking her heart, if you will, to gain the whole story she carries within.  At other times I am the blue jay flitting from tale to tale with Dorothy as she weaves the threads of her life into a tapestry of beauty and wisdom and love.  We perch on thin twigs above the abyss of pain and loss.  We dart swiftly to the ground of life events and flit up again into the azure blue of memory and lessons learned.  At the end of the day, we fly back into the comfort and safety of the woods, into the arms of a loving Father God, knowing that all is well.  Peace rules the process.

And always, I am the human being myself, exercising my own will and power of choice by choosing to walk out this creative and healing process with Dorothy.  She is my comrade, my mentor, and friend.  Every journey is made up of many steps along the way.  Some big and bold, some tiny and demure, some dancing with joy, others plodding through hardship and pain, all the steps move together to tell the story of a life.  This then is the story of Dorothy—her choices and decisions, the journey of a life, the wisdom and the love gained along the way.

Jane Rucker